Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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