For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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