we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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