He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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