Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
