So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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