What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize