Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
