how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
