Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
