I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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