What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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