guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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