Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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