He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
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I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
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Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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