We need to start having sex underwater more often.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize