Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize