OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
