S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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