So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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