Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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