ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
