their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize