She's JV to your varsity
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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