OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
