your parents love me but you hate me
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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