And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
