im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
