Your dad touched me again.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
