sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
