So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
