Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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