The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize