So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
