Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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