Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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