so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
