In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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