He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
