What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
