I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
