The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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