Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
