have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
love makes seman taste better
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
