Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
