You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
