Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
