It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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