I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
