HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
