So drunk, too bad you don't want this
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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