my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
