I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
