I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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