When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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