Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
